"Trauma"

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•  Denying the impact of your experiences
•  Doubting/questioning if what happened to you was real
•  Difficulty managing/controlling your feelings/emotions
•  Difficulty identifying or understanding your emotions
•  Difficulty pinpointing or identifying why you get upset or reactive
•  Sense of “losing it”
•  Compulsive behaviors/self-medicating
•  Feeling too much or too little
•  Frequent feelings of detachment of being “checked out”
•  Somatic (physical) symptoms that cannot be better explained by something else

From: 

The EMDR Workbook for Trauma & PTSD by Megan Boardman, LCSW

Trauma is often thought of as an overt and obvious event

 that would be overwhelming to anyone.  

While this is true, there are also many other forms of trauma.  

Trauma can be loss of a loved one or pet, life experiences that involve large or small changes in situations or circumstances, 

the absence of the care and responses needed from those responsible for your care and comfort at any age, 

or a chaotic and unpredictable environment. 

It is very common for individuals to compare their own experiences to the 

"big trauma" of others.  

Each experience is unique, valid, 

and deserves to have the opportunity to heal.    

You never told anyone

You can't remember all of it

It happened a long time ago

People didn't believe you

You are feeling better now

It didn't develop into PTSD

Your life wasn't threatened  

You know people who have been through "worse"

You didn't realize it was traumatic until later

(Unknown)

This happens when what you "know"

 is not aligned with what you feel and believe about yourself.

Life experiences can lead to an internal belief system 

that can be alternately protective and unhelpful.  

For example, 

you may "know" that you are smart, accomplished, and caring,

 but  "feel" like you are not good enough, smart enough, or deserving.  These beliefs will influence your thoughts, feelings, actions and decisions.  Sometimes they may "drive" you to continual improvement and betterment.  Other times, they may leave you with a great deal of dissatisfaction and distress.  

The goal of trauma therapy is to create internal congruence.  When our beliefs are aligned with our intellectual understanding, we are better able to make decisions that are best for ourselves and those we care about.  

We can be truly present in our life and see choices for our future.